Seasons Greetings
|
 |
Thursday, 25 December 08 - 04:02 PM (GMT) By andrew cazalet in humour |
| ||
Season’s Greetings
A little light Christmas Cheer below..
I spotted this in the readers queries section of the leading magazine for tax advisers – a message from a seasonal character seeking help with his tax affairs.
On a visit to the UK last year I picked up a copy of your magazine and wonder if readers can advise me. I am non-domiciled and non-resident (I think) in the UK – no permanent home here – but each year I work temporarily in the UK for a short period.
The work is unpaid, but I do receive benefits in kind; glasses of port, mince pies and the like. I am rather concerned that I have not declared these to HMRC in the past. Should I have done so and is there an annual tax liability to be paid on these gifts or benefits? And if there is, how is the tax calculated under self assessment? “
Best Wishes for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
ps if you need any help with your tax returns whilst you have some time off over the Festive Season please do get in touch. I am of course happy to help with your tax returns, give tax advice, offer help as a tax consultant/ advisor, give tax advisory services as a tax advisor / accountant covering London and all points west - West End, Ealing, Mayfair, Knightsbridge, Chiswick, Fulham, Chelsea, Notting Hill, Belgravia, Bayswater, Kensington, Ladbroke Grove, Kingston, Marylebone, Barnes, Putney, Richmond, Wandsworth, Kew, Putney.
Oldie but Goldie
|
|
|
Tuesday, 11 December 07 - 05:53 PM (GMT) By andrew cazalet in humour |
| ||
There are precious few funnies in tax but below is the text of a letter from an HMRC officer allegedly genuine which hopefully might amuse...
" Dear Mr R Murphy
I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more-than-prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise.
I will address them in order.
Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last correspondence as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we, at HM Revenue & Customs, have always, for reasons of accuracy, traditionally referred to such documents.
Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat" has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the other letters to which you refer, I would cautiously suggest that their being from "pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant gas-mongerers" might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised.
In common with my own organisation, it is unlikely that the senders of these letters do see you as a "lackwit bumpkin" or, come to that, a "sodding charity". More likely they see you as a citizen of the UK, with a responsibility to contribute to the upkeep of the nation as a whole.
This brings me to my next point. Whilst there may be some spirit of truth in your assertion that the taxes you pay "go to shore up the canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services", a moment's rudimentary calculation ought to disabuse you of the notion that the government in any way expects you to "stump up for the whole damned party" yourself. The estimates you provide for the Chancellor's disbursement of the funds levied by taxation, whilst colourful, are, in fairness, a little off the mark. Less than you seem to imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish lickspittles" and "dancing whores", whilst far more than you have accounted for is allocated to, for example, "that box-ticking facade of a university system".
A couple of technical points arising from direct queries:
- The reason we do not simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the postal system;
- You can rest assured that "sucking the very marrows of those with nothing else to give" has never been considered best practice because even if the Personal Allowance did not render it irrelevant, the sheer medical logistics involved would make it financially unviable.
I trust this has helped. In the meantime, whilst I would not in any way wish to influence your decision one way or the other, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up and go and live in India" you would still owe us the money. Please remit it by Friday.
Yours sincerely,
Mr Dave Harnett
Customer Services Manager "
... More items are available in our News Archive
